On the mend but brittle

I'm back home from the hospital after 8 days. I'm on the mend but still sore inside. I still feel weak and more than a bit disconnected from reality. I am also walking on tiptoes for fear that I'll do again whatever unknown thing it was that triggered this in the first place. The thought of going through this again scares me to tears!

The doctor tells me that my pancreas is about the size of a football and will slowly shrink back to the normal size of a large human hand. I have a shelf full of pills and a head full of fuzz but should be able to get back to work next week. I need to do something because I could drive myself crazy sitting here for too much longer.

Between the hurricane, the clean up, the hospital and the fact that my Dad put himself in the hospital by letting his blood sugar get away from him ( my Bro in California had to call a 911 on him in Florida) and its easy to see that this has not been a great September. I'm hoping that October will be much much better.

DON'T GET THIS DISEASE!!!!!

I am flat on my back in Memorial Herman Hospital. Been here for 7 days and there's no telling how many more I'll be here. I am living from hour to hour on pain medication, the strongest they can give me without having the little green men come out of the woodwork ( which has happened several times already). In between doses, I am literally moaning in pain. They ask on a scale of one to ten with ten being the worst you ever had, what does it feel like today. It's usually around a 7 but that's only because I established ever increasing levels of ten on my first day. They confirmed that this pain is similar in level to the peaks of childbirth, but those last minutes. These have gone on continuously for a week.

My stomach is so bloated that the shorts that I wore to the hospital which fit just fine, now won't go around me by almost a foot. I look pregnant. Because of the pain, the pressure and other things, I have not eaten or drank anything significant that they didn't make me take in for the full week. I have been on a saline drip the whole time so both my arms look like over used pin cushions. That drip and the fact that I don't pee has added 35 pounds to my weight in the last 7 days. I look like the Michelin man. Face, hands feet, everywhere. There is no comfortable position. Even with broken ribs I could find a contorted position where nothing actively hurt. With this, there is no such position.

I have pancreatitis.